3 Ways Out of Overwhelm While You Still Have a Choice
In the aftermath of the accident 19 years ago that changed the course of my life I felt permanently overwhelmed.
My whole system was in perpetual “fight or flight” mode and “high alert” suddenly became my default setting.
I couldn’t think straight and had to break everyday tasks into simple, individual steps that I took one at a time.
Heavy Responsibility
It was a million miles from how I’d recently operated in my professional role as a managing director and publisher when I’d been simultaneously spinning more plates than I could count.
Yet even then, I’d experienced regular feelings of overwhelm.
I was absurdly busy, worked ridiculously long hours and felt a heavy weight of responsibility for the fate of each book we published and the well-being of every member of staff.
Enforced Change
The enforced change was a massive shock which I struggled to come to terms with; I’d lost sight of who I was and felt like I was failing on all fronts.
Admittedly the downward spiral was intensified by the effects of the accident and in the end my healing journey took 7 years.
Yet had I not been quite so overwhelmed and depleted to start with, I just wonder if things might have turned out differently?
Conscious Choice
However, this extreme experience turned out to be an immense gift which led me into a deep awakening that has become the most defining moment of my life so far.
It wasn’t long before I realized that I’d lost myself in all of the “doing” which had crept up on me gradually and completely taken over my fledgling commitment to live a spiritually inspired life in alignment with Truth.
So I made a conscious choice to craft a whole new way of being, working and living that reflected my true nature and had creativity at the core.
I also vowed to avoid high levels of stress and overwhelm from that point on!
Conditioned Patterns
Since then I’ve learned a great deal about the way out of overwhelm, for myself and the many people I mentor who are living their own version of my former fast-paced life.
One of the major challenges relates to the fact that being exceptionally busy over a prolonged period of time eventually becomes the norm.
Inevitably this depletes your energy which makes it much easier for conditioned patterns to kick in, and before you know it, you’re lost in the everyday story and dealing with nonstop drama.
Possible Triggers
Yet it’s not just perpetual busyness that leads to overwhelm. Here are a few other triggers that often combine to become a potentially lethal cocktail:
- Excessive stress and undue pressure at work and at home.
- Doing everything yourself to maintain a sense of control.
- Information overload from social media and endless emails.
- Perfectionist tendencies that push you beyond sensible limits.
- Missing out on regular time for yourself to recharge and regroup.
- Not being able to say “no” and taking on too many commitments.
- Always putting other people’s needs and requests before your own.
- Lack of clarity about boundaries and giving away your energy to others.
If you recognize any of these in your experience of life right now, here are a few preliminary suggestions to find your way out of overwhelm:
- Stop!
As soon as you notice you’re spiralling out of alignment with your inner core and feel like you’re drowning at sea with no sight of shore, stop!
Step away from the immediate situation you find yourself in and take yourself out for a walk (ideally in nature) or engage in any form of conscious movement.
Moving your body helps to shift your perspective and create an opening for you to release yourself from the grip of your current challenge(s) and find a new way forwards.
- Reconnect with Yourself
Persistent feelings of overwhelm require you to stop for longer periods in order to reconnect with yourself which is always the highest priority.
Ideally you’ll claim your right to spend some time on your own and schedule a personal retreat for a few hours, a day, a weekend or more. Be kind to yourself and calm your frazzled energy with soothing music and candlelit baths.
Use journaling to explore what’s really going on for you. Write everything down to clear your mind and identify what you need to learn from all that’s contributing to your feelings of overwhelm.
- Simplify
Take the opportunity to reflect on what’s genuinely important for you in your life; what (and who) do you really care about?
Write a list of priorities or do a mind-map to connect with the big picture and see at a glance what truly matters.
Then review what you need to let go of and what you value enough to take forwards.
Finally, chunk it all down into simple steps you can take one at a time to begin the process of finding your way out of overwhelm once and for all.
The Moment is Now
Don’t wait for the perfect moment to make the adjustments you need to make because that time will never come.
In my case, the situation was taken out of my hands by a falling stage spotlight that struck me on the crown of the head.
So learn from my experience and ask for help if you need it because the only moment for important change is Now – while you still have a choice!
Where are you in relation to feeling overwhelmed right now and what simple steps to alleviate the pressure are you willing to take today? Please find the courage to share your comments or ask a question below. Thank you!
I have cancelled a trip up the motorway to make a date with my bath tonIght, with epsom salts and everything.
Good for you Lyndsey! Thanks for sharing your conscious choice here and I hope you enjoyed your bath. I also use epsom salts regularly 🙂
I get really overwhelmed when I’ve got lots to do and I run into a technology glitch and can’t figure it out. It stops me in my tracks and I have to “let go” so that I can move on and not lose any more time. I walk away feeling like I’ve “failed”~~not only in accomplishing my task but, also not being able to solve the tech issue. I have to tell myself this is not about failure but more about “accepting what Is” ~~something I need more practice at.
I understand completely Helen and thanks for your comment. Hitting a technology problem can be very frustrating, especially when you’re busy. However, you’re so right when you say it’s not a failure – not at all! Accepting what is reduces the stress response which then puts you in a stronger position to think clearly about the best way to resolve the issue (alongside finding some good tech support!)
Overwhelm is the new normal and its unacceptable. thanks for writing about this important topic, julia. i find myself in this state more often than i care to admit. I relate to helen’s comments. technology feels like such an unforgiving partner. so unreasonable. so unwilling to talk or compromise. my way or the highway. and it so often seems to plan it’s attacks just at the most crucial moment.
your three steps are great. i am reminded of the little phrase that firemen used to -maybe still do? – teach to kids for when there’s a fire: stop, drop and roll. itw always stayed with me. It fits for me here. 1. Stop what you’re doing, just as you say. 2. drop. drop it, whatever it is. look at the bigger picture, reconnect with yourself, and see how this task is not as all important as it seemed, and 3. roll – i equate this with letting go, one of the key skills of life. roll with the punches. i didn’nt mean to be so long winded here, but your piece inspired me. thanks, julia.
Hi Peter, thank you for your comment and the significance of your contribution to this topic. You’re so right; overwhelm has become “normal” and it absolutely isn’t acceptable. I appreciate you putting those important points in black and white. And yes, technology has a knack for finding the most crucial moment to challenge us!
Stop, drop and roll sounds like great advice to me. I’ve not heard that before but love your interpretation so thanks for sharing that too. I’m delighted to hear that this piece inspired you; I’m inspired by your response to it! Thanks to you Peter 🙂
This is brilliant Julia. Thank you so much for sharing both your personal experience and your wisdom here, particularly regarding overwhelm. I shall find the list of suggestions and solutions invaluable! Love as always xx
Thank you Louise; I truly appreciate your sharing your comment here and am delighted to know that you feel the suggestions and solutions will be helpful for you! Julia x